Not just a something, really — an everything, and the gentle, invading touch that wants to offer solace to his suffering is too sweet for how pathetic he's being. Too accommodating for how his soul's still shaking with every unreasonable breath. Too...
— forgiving. Since this is his fault, right? Again, he thinks, only this time he's able to watch the lily bloom after each tender petal of life has fallen and faded away. So... why isn't Rei more upset? Scold him. Tell him he was being stupid, that despite the past few weeks he should've been paying more attention, that he can deal with a little skinship and shared warmth if it means never going through this again.
It's a little frustrating, really, made even more so by the concern he sees in the red gazing straight up and into him. A red that's more dazzling than usual given the closeness, and for a moment the light of it startles him out of another sob. It's more captivating than he gives him credit for ( this someone who was glorified like a God ), and as his heart starts to slowly to patch up the sadness it feels like he might spiral down and into and against the unseen curves of each other if he isn't careful.
And that's... — he can't, not right now or ever, and so his gaze retreats to somewhere else, because it's better to run from thoughts he shouldn't have.
Kaoru squeezes the hand he's still trying to steal the cold from and then answers with one last shiver: ]
... yeah. I do.
[ Short and simple and child-like — it's all he can manage without another gasping breath, and luckily it doesn't take much to ensure that there's room for him in the bed next to Rei. He nestles in close and unspoken, head resting on the pillow and just tired from all the crying and comfort he doesn't deserve.
The one who deserves it is... still too worried. There's a dull, fading ache across the line, and with a frown Kaoru rolls over to lean an arm awkwardly against the rise and fall of Rei's chest, to press warmth against his side. ]
no subject
Not just a something, really — an everything, and the gentle, invading touch that wants to offer solace to his suffering is too sweet for how pathetic he's being. Too accommodating for how his soul's still shaking with every unreasonable breath. Too...
— forgiving. Since this is his fault, right? Again, he thinks, only this time he's able to watch the lily bloom after each tender petal of life has fallen and faded away. So... why isn't Rei more upset? Scold him. Tell him he was being stupid, that despite the past few weeks he should've been paying more attention, that he can deal with a little skinship and shared warmth if it means never going through this again.
It's a little frustrating, really, made even more so by the concern he sees in the red gazing straight up and into him. A red that's more dazzling than usual given the closeness, and for a moment the light of it startles him out of another sob. It's more captivating than he gives him credit for ( this someone who was glorified like a God ), and as his heart starts to slowly to patch up the sadness it feels like he might spiral down and into and against the unseen curves of each other if he isn't careful.
And that's... — he can't, not right now or ever, and so his gaze retreats to somewhere else, because it's better to run from thoughts he shouldn't have.
Kaoru squeezes the hand he's still trying to steal the cold from and then answers with one last shiver: ]
... yeah. I do.
[ Short and simple and child-like — it's all he can manage without another gasping breath, and luckily it doesn't take much to ensure that there's room for him in the bed next to Rei. He nestles in close and unspoken, head resting on the pillow and just tired from all the crying and comfort he doesn't deserve.
The one who deserves it is... still too worried. There's a dull, fading ache across the line, and with a frown Kaoru rolls over to lean an arm awkwardly against the rise and fall of Rei's chest, to press warmth against his side. ]