[ It's more alarming than he'd like to admit, that reciprocated touch, but he struggles against the presence that's gone and all memory if only to hold on for as long as he can ( even if a memory burns eternal like a candle, maybe it can be replaced, he thinks idly ).
He doesn't know how to say much else, mouth dry with how generous the beat is against his palm, with how easily Rei's words manage to sink into the bruised spaces of his heart to overtake the tide of melancholy and distress. There's a familiar feeling of peace and contentment here, Kaoru discovers, and very quickly realizes with the way his body leans in to fill in the spaces and share his sunlight — a feeling that he's strangely okay with, maybe, despite the growing exhaustion from his crying spell.
Connected... — it's true, even if he'd grown to have some doubts about sacrificing a part of himself for a little magical protection. It was necessary at the time and necessary even now, but being all open heart meant being able to sense a whole new language — a something spreading thin across the thread between them only to speak voiceless, soothing sympathy.
It's a different sort of warmth — one that never ceases to surprise and one he knows they'll never talk about openly, but maybe this is enough for now, one fist coiled against the sheets, his own heart thumping restless and knowing, a dangerous sweetness stirring the more he listens to Rei be kinder than the cruelest thing that's ever just happened to him.
Kaoru swallows, and okay, maybe it's finally hitting him just how embarrassing their positions are, but there's no going back when that promise battering against his soul is seemingly everything. He wants it to be true ( this time, for sure ), and he trusts Rei — who works tirelessly when all hope seems lost, who suddenly doesn't seem all that distant and detached with what Kaoru's felt and known without wanting to acknowledge.
The hand holding tight to his is so pale and white against the blackness, so pristine and almost untouched in comparison, so human and yet not with how claws brush lightly against his skin that ah; Kaoru's sure of one thing as he rests and lets his own grip around Rei grow firmer in turn —
He's glad the moonlight planted a garden inside his bed instead of a graveyard. ]
no subject
He doesn't know how to say much else, mouth dry with how generous the beat is against his palm, with how easily Rei's words manage to sink into the bruised spaces of his heart to overtake the tide of melancholy and distress. There's a familiar feeling of peace and contentment here, Kaoru discovers, and very quickly realizes with the way his body leans in to fill in the spaces and share his sunlight — a feeling that he's strangely okay with, maybe, despite the growing exhaustion from his crying spell.
Connected... — it's true, even if he'd grown to have some doubts about sacrificing a part of himself for a little magical protection. It was necessary at the time and necessary even now, but being all open heart meant being able to sense a whole new language — a something spreading thin across the thread between them only to speak voiceless, soothing sympathy.
It's a different sort of warmth — one that never ceases to surprise and one he knows they'll never talk about openly, but maybe this is enough for now, one fist coiled against the sheets, his own heart thumping restless and knowing, a dangerous sweetness stirring the more he listens to Rei be kinder than the cruelest thing that's ever just happened to him.
Kaoru swallows, and okay, maybe it's finally hitting him just how embarrassing their positions are, but there's no going back when that promise battering against his soul is seemingly everything. He wants it to be true ( this time, for sure ), and he trusts Rei — who works tirelessly when all hope seems lost, who suddenly doesn't seem all that distant and detached with what Kaoru's felt and known without wanting to acknowledge.
The hand holding tight to his is so pale and white against the blackness, so pristine and almost untouched in comparison, so human and yet not with how claws brush lightly against his skin that ah; Kaoru's sure of one thing as he rests and lets his own grip around Rei grow firmer in turn —
He's glad the moonlight planted a garden inside his bed instead of a graveyard. ]